*****

When I was in the hospital giving birth to my first born son, I asked Pois (who was there with me the whole time and helped me so much) to make notes of the progress of events. I was afraid I'd forget what happened, what with the drugs and everything. Now (over two years later) this is my vague recollection of the events, based on the notes and my patchy memory:

Monday, 40 weeks (= Due Date)

Nothing has happened in the few days prior (no contractions, no show) so I do not expect that anything will happen today either, and consider it safe enough to tempt fate slightly by going to the hairdresser (another rare event in my life, like giving birth).

Later that week

Pois has been out drinking after work, a relatively heavy session. And why not - it'll probably be the last one in some time, once the baby arrives.... He returns home late (I am probably in bed though probably not sleeping - no sleep in late pregnancy, otherwise you might be *rested* when you go into labour...).

Later in the night I notice him getting up to go to the bathroom and I continue trying to sleep on my elaborate mountain of pillows. Then I realise I haven't heard the sound of the bathroom door, and suddenly become aware of a new, different sound --- I realise he's in the 'nursery' (where we have recently, and with great trouble, assembled expensive new baby furniture --- to be sold almost unused less than 16 months later...) pissing against the wall! I waddle to the nursery after him, turn on the lights and enquire as to what the f**k is he doing? Not unreasonably, I feel.

As he realises what is happening he is clearly alarmed by the events, and almost squeals in fright when I confront him. I know the theory about how you're not supposed to wake a sleepwalker - but there must be some extenuating circumstances right? Also, I didn't know - hell of a way to start a sleepwalking career.

The next day I spend a good deal of time (well at least 2 minutes) scrubbing the nursery wall and carpet - vigorous cleaning is supposed to help you go into labour. Is it possible he did the whole thing to help me? I spend the next few days worrying about how I'm going to cope with two creatures with complete disregard for civilised toilet habits. (As a result) no progress on the going into labour front.

(It's possible the pissing episode happened sometime earlier and not in the week after the due date. Who knows these things.)

Monday (41 weeks)

Still no sign of contractions. Pois and I go to the hospital for a check-up, and the doctors recommend induction - we are to come back on Tuesday afternoon, at which time I will be given hormones (gel placed on the cervix to begin with, and then a drip if that doesn't work) to induce labour. I get signed up for a study involving ultrasound monitoring in induced labour.

Tuesday (41 + 1)

1 am

I wake up, once again, in the middle of the night - but after a while notice that my discomfort is not letting up this time... could it be... yes this feels like a real contraction... yeay! I savour the feeling for a short while, before waking Pois. I can tell it's not a practice contraction anymore - I had those from around 27 weeks onwards - plus given I'm over a week overdue it makes sense that it's the start of the real thing. Pois and I get hugely excited and leap out of bed. After a few more contractions (they come every 10 minutes or so) I phone the hospital to find out what to do about the induction appointment the next day - now unnecesary. They probably think I'm a bit over eager - it's common to have night time contractions for some days before labour really starts progressing (as we come to realise in the next few days...) - and tell me to stay at home and keep the appointment, unless the contractions get much stronger and more frequent before the appointed time.

Meanwhile Pois is freaking out - for reasons still unknown to me he decides right now would be a great time to plan a holiday (????!!!!) and turns on the computer. I try to let him down gently when I tell him I'm really not that keen to think about that right now. The contractions are slowly getting stronger, though still bearable, and more frequent. Sitting and swaying on my exercise ball (bought for me by Pois early on in the pregnancy - he is so thoughtful) helps. At some point we get out the TENS machine which I've hired from Boots. It takes a while before it has any effect but at least playing with the buttons takes my mind off the pain for a few minutes.

3 am

Pois goes back to bed at some point. I lie down a few times still holding onto the TENS machine, not really expecting to sleep, getting up to move when the contractions come, and make it through to the morning still feeling relatively calm.

10 am

After 9 am I notice the contractions getting weaker and less frequent. Great. I'm a little unsure whether I want the induction or not. Either way, we are due to go to the hospital for the appointment in the afternoon. We eat and pack and wait. We call a minicab. The driver takes a route that has extra speedbumps. The contractions have not stopped completely (though they are a lot more bearable by day), the taxi ride makes me a little anxious.

2 pm

At the hospital we wait some more in various waiting rooms and ward day rooms before I'm assigned a bed in a post-natal ward, a large room with lots of beds, most of the other beds being occupied by mothers who have already given birth and are recovering. A nurse or a doctor comes to examine me - it takes a while for them to realise/believe that I am already having regular contractions. Although I've told them that the contractions have started and I don't think the induction is necessary, a doctor comes to sign me up for a study regarding the use of ultrasound during induction of labour, and I listen to her explanations, not really sure of whether it applies to me or not. She seems annoyed with me when she realises I do in fact have regular contractions and might not need induction. I don't know what is supposed to happen, it's my first time after all, so it's all a bit strange. Then we are left alone again. I get some hospital food at some point and eat what I can. The contractions are not too painful, I can manage.

7 pm

At some point Pois goes home, I try to sleep, but at night the contractions get more painful and I have to keep getting up and sitting down, and shifting my position to try to deal with them. I use the TENS machine but it's not doing so much for me now. The contractions feel like period pains but multiplied by about a million. Around the ward, newborn babies are crying and being fed, recovering mothers are being helped out of bed to go to the bathroom and back. I am left pretty much to myself - sometimes the midwives come around but they don't pay too much attention to me. I try to lie down occasionally but don't get much rest. By the early morning hours the pain is getting harder to bear and I ask the midwives whether there is anything I can take, (I think earlier someone had told me that I could take a painkiller if I needed to) and am given a tablet - I don't remember what it was but I think it did help a little. Towards the morning I get maybe an hours sleep, before Pois returns to the hospital. I'm so glad to see him.

Wednesday (41 + 2)

9 am

In the morning I am examined again by a midwife - we await excitedly, how many centimetres??? We are disappointed as I'm not dilated at all. The midwives recommend, and we agree, that I need something to help things along. I'm promised some gel which is placed on the cervix and should speed up the dilation and the contractions. We have to wait another hour or so before the gel is administered. By this time I have been moved to a different room with just two beds. Again, by day time the contractions are not as bad and I'm able to lie down, but then get told off by the midwives, I should be up and about, to let gravity help the baby!

5 pm

The next several hours Pois and I walk up and down the stairs of the hospital, stopping on landings when I need to breathe through a contraction. We even venture outside for a short walk at one point but it's rainy and gray, and we are keen to get back in soon and get someone to examine me, is anything happening?

6 pm

Later in the evening, I am moved to the birthing ward (Bloomsbury Birthing Centre, or BBC). We get our own room this time, very pleasant and cool, with birth balls, a high backed chair (very useful), and a light switch! We walk up and down the corridor. Things are very quiet, there seem to be very few people giving birth that day. Or else things are moving way faster for them than they are for me.

8 pm

I try to have a bath but realise I can sit down and stay still, it's too painful, and also the thought of taking the TENS machine off scares me even though it's not doing much for me by this point. The contractions are making me cry by now. We decide to talk to a midwife about pain relief and ask for gas and air (entonox). It takes a while to arrive but is so helpful when I figure out how to use it.

11 pm

Much later on I also get a diamorphine injection, as the midwives think we need to try to get some rest, things are going slowly. It helps a bit and Pois is able to get some sleep on the floor in our room, I'm lying on the bed with the gas & air mask in my hand.

Thursday (41 + 3)

4 am

I get examined every few hours, and the baby's heart beat is monitored as well. Towards the morning the midwife uses an object resembling a crochet hook to puncture the membranes, so that the water breaks - this should also help speed things up and she says she thinks the baby will be born by 7 am which gives me some hope. The water has some meconium in it which means that the baby will have to have his nose and mouth checked and suctioned right after birth to make sure he doesn't inhale any of it - that could lead to infection - a pediatrician is alerted to be present at the birth to do this. Otherwise, not much to do but wait yet more.

7 am

Still no sign of baby, only a little progress. My recollections of this phase are very vague. I get moved to another room again. The baby is still being monitored on and off. Midwives change shifts, and a student midwife comes along, this is her first day in the hospital and the first birth she will witness. (I barely remember her being there, but later on after Puggle has been born she says 'thank you' to me for allowing her to be present. I don't remember if I was ever asked for permission but don't mind her being there. She seems slightly bewildered by the experience.) I am exhausted by now, and fall asleep in between the contractions, waking up to realise I haven't been breathing in the entonox, this one is going to hurt hurt hurt! Or else, I babble, talking in my sleep & dreaming while awake. Pois laughs at me and supports me.

9 am

Finally I'm fully dilated, soon I can begin pushing, with the contractions. What contractions??? They seem to have stopped. The midwife (or doctor? I don't remember) thinks I should be put on a syntocin drip, to speed start the contractions and help me push. They try to put the drip on my left hand, but it doesn't work out, and they put it on my right. It doesn't feel right, and has no effect on the contractions, but the midwives don't believe me when I tell them it's not working. The pushing stage takes well over two hours and I'm so exhausted, what contractions I have by now are very weak and infrequent.

11 am

When Puggle finally crowns (I'm not sure if someone tells me this or if I just know) I put my hand down to feel his head. I'm lying on the bed, in the 'usual' birth position, although for most of the pushing stage I have been up and down, kneeling on the bed or standing/squatting and leaning on Pois.